I must say, recently, I’ve been very bubbly and happy. I don’t know what’s going on, but for some reason I am very nervous and anxious tonight. It started around three thirty in the afternoon. I logged off because I lost the ability to concentrate, and shortly after, I lost my ability to reason. It was like someone stepped inside my brain, screwed things up more than they already are, and reactivated me. The funny thing is, I have no idea what I’m anxious about.

My life is full of random bursts of morose events, but nothing like this, and nothing I usually get worked up over. It usually takes a lot before my mind thinks, “Huston, We have a problem.” just because I’ve seen, been through, done and survived so much. It feels something just got crushed; something very, very valuable, but I haven’t done anything that couldn’t be apologized for, un-pardoned, and easily repaired.

Then, there’s no distinct direction. I have no idea where it’s coming from, nobody comes to mind. It’s like being at the death visitation of a stranger. There’s no reason, no explanation, just some form of terminal concern. I’m worried about this feeling because when my mind, body and heart tells me something is or is going to be wrong, I usually end up with my nose in the dirt and all three of them telling me, “I told you so”

It’s odd. I also feel like I’m in some kind of dream world. The street felt like parchment, the air feels like I could wad it up and throw it at something. I’ve tried to pinch myself several times, first dozen times, I didn’t even feel it. It feels like my soul is trying to climb out of my body. It feels like I could use my breath to bend rays of light. It’s so odd.

I’ve been too happy to see things go wrong. They might not even go wrong, but even if they did, I’d be powerless to stop it, even if it hasn’t happened yet. What is Happening to Me?

Well, Hello all my fellow Bloggers. I had my friend Jonathan over, so I didn’t Bother posting last night, but I will tell you this: What started as my last night for the week, and a night where the “Suck” meter was almost at it’s peak, in came Laya.

It was nine thirty, we had four solid hours of rush, I was the only Fryer, and Kevin (District Manager) was coming in to inspect tomorrow. (Actually today, but at the time it was tomorrow.) so all the Managers were pressing us to have she place so clean that you could see lint on your shirt in our stainless steel machinery.

I didn’t get a break until 8:47, but about ten minutes after I got back, I start to attempt to do my Pre-close, when suddenly, I hear front expo say, “four in the Door” After uttering sailor talk under my breath, I turn to see Laya and her mother walking in behind an Elderly couple. I look at our fry dish and see plenty of Waffle fries. I look into the Season’s tray and I see about six servings. (Proper handling amount at this time and pace.)

I run over by the counter as the cashier greets them with our robotic trade-mark mixed with sarcasm and a moderate form of loathing the presents of this teenaged girl and her mother. The Elderly couple takes their time, I go up to the counter and give a SINCERE more human form of greeting. Then I told her, “If you would’ve came in ten minutes earlier, I would’ve been on break!” She smiled and laughed. My mood took an astronomical upward turn to put it very lightly.

I Then said, “Hey, if your order Season fries, they’ll be fresher.” So, she places her order and I get back to my job after our short but cordial conversation. I get pull out the fries, and she ordered a regular Season, and I like STACKED it. I was Very Liberal. I can fit an absurd amount of fries in this thing when I put my mind to it. I put of this massive size of fry into the window, when suddenly, Drive Expo person reaches for it. Not only is it the wrong Expo, but it’s a fricken MANAGER!

Forgetting that technically, it’s not my job to be discriminating towards ANY costumer, I belt out the words, “Can that please go to J” (We have letters that we take Orders to the letter if you dine in) She looks at me oddly, Glances behind the counter and looks at me again.. She double-takes a few times, does the math in her head, she smiled at me and rolled her eyes and said, “I’m holding on a season fry!”

I said, “Thank you, Season fry” and she rolled her eyes in humor. I thought this was kind of funny because Stella has the hugest problems with High School Employees. The best way to get NOTHING done is to stick the guys with the girls. Everyone’s said that I’m the only one (High schooler) that can work just as effectively with a Female as without. I guess Stella Saw that I could get some leeway on this one!

I’m just Glad that she wasn’t Dressed to impress tonight, because if one of those skanky linemen would’ve yelled, “Silver Platter” I would have the unfortunate obligation of figuring out how to get hot grease down their pants and make it look like an accident. If they ever saw past the huddie, they would know that we really had a Fox at the counter tonight, but teach them for not looking past the obvious!

Then after her mom and she ate, she came back up to the counter for a Brownie Entrée. (Brownie with a scoop of ice cream) And I piled it up beyond all get-out. I it was squirting out of the container by the time I was through with it, but don’t worry, I wiped it off. So yeah, her arrival made my night. It was a good break from my tedious, mindless life.

Just Two days earlier We talked about my Job, and she arrived when I said it normally slowed out enough for me to breathe. I don’t know if this was pre-meditated, but it was wonderful. I can’t wait to see her Monday!

~You Take me High above the world I see, Way beyond the Clouds, Beautiful colors surround me~….Thank You Laya, Thank you.

~The Black Book~

Thank you all readers! WOW! 2000, that's a lot, and to think I started in October. That's not counting the Visits on Block By Block. I know I haven't posted on that one until just recently, but I really like that series even though it is short. It's still growing, but I just write for it when I feel like it.

Well, Things haven't gotten easier and my Ever-twisting soap-opera life doesn't seem to be going in any distinct direction so I guess I'm here to stay! I did kind of pout today because for some reason, Laya didn't come our way today, But I saw her in the hall and we exchanged waves, and I saw her in line at lunch and we talked a nice while. I wish I would've gotten more time, but I'm not letting it bother me.

The Kind of hard thing though is the choice between Christina and Laya. Girls that are worth chasing are an incredibly rare type now days. Some girls you go on your second date and their like, “Strap me to the bed and Spank Me!” then, some girls are so cut off and chastised that they won't even kiss you until you get them a Promise ring or whatever they call it.

My love language is touch, I mean, I'm not just after a girl for her body, but when I like someone, I express that affection by getting close, holding hands, kissing, and that kind of stuff. I am a clingy person, but I'm not one of those people that like to be tongue wrestling by the end of the first month; Especially in Public. My God, that annoys the shit out of me when people are making out in the mall or being ridiculously friendly in public places.

I mean, Sure, I wouldn't mind “Making out” so to speak, but lets make sure we've got something tangible first, something with some volume. And do it where people aren't going to be watching. They can buy THOSE channels for home. I keep hoping that I get to see her soon. If she doesn't sit with us Monday, Screw it; I'll search that cafeteria from top to bottom and sit by her.

Then, I guess I should tell you about this other girl, Christina. I've known her sense my Sophomore year, like I said, we're good friends and I did ask her to Prom, but that kind of went down the tubes. She likes to read; she's a junior, terribly intelligent and doing more advanced Science classes than I would ever risk taking… She's Catholic, Very pretty, and very nice too. She and I Joked around a lot and even had fun imagining what it would be like If Ozzie Osborn ran for President.

We both mutually agreed that his trademark would be taking a cookie of the other Party's Animal, and biting the head off of it like he did the bat at Ozz-Fest. (I think it was a bat, but it might have been a pigeon…) We also decided that he'd probably run as a libertarian. On Top of that, we came to the conclusion that he would have the white house painted black, and would be the first politician to bluntly call terrorist, “Fucking Bastards.” (Come on, deep inside, that's what every Politician wants to say.) We have some of the most charming conversations.

The best thing about what's going on now is that although the choice is difficult to make, there is one key point that they Both have in common, and that is that they are my friends, and we have real, effective, (But not productive) conversations. It's so good to know that if I asked one of them on a date, and they said no, even if it were because of a lack of interest, they'd still be just as friendly with me the following day as they were the day before. It is a very healthy, natural form of security. Now, all I have to do is make that choice.

I think that if someone put a gun o my head and told me to choose in five seconds, I'd have to say Laya. I'm not really sure why, but it was kind of like Laya reached out towards me, in place of me having to do tricks until she noticed. And that is NEVER the case in my case. I mean, she could've snarled and I would've been a few miles from where I am now, but she smiled. She shows interest, and just has this vibe to that screams that she wants to be loved.

You Don't SAY!!??!! Captain Obvious Strikes again!!! Quicker than a speeding Caterpillar, he can leap inches in just one bound; more powerful than a box of rabbits! That's not what I meant though. Something tells me that she's had her fair share of vain relationships. She herself is crazier about the opposite sex than I am, she's beautiful as the day is long, but she seems to have such hesitance. Either she doesn't see it in herself, or she too has seen enough of the game, the gimmicks, the disgraceful, distasteful excuse of “Love” that the world has to offer. I wonder…

Well, I usually either end really suddenly, or I try to end in rythme and theme with the Blog, but today…. I will end with some Jokes!

Definition and breaking down of Politics:

Poly: Many, more than one, Multiple. Ticks: Blood Sucking Parasites

Q What's the difference between a Ran over Skunk and a ran over politician?
A Usually, you can see the Skid marks where the Car tried to avoid the Skunk!!!

Well, today, I got to see more of Larie, in more ways than one. She really shocked me today! Normally she dresses to make an impression, but today she was more risk-ay. I knew she was pretty but WHOAH!!! OUCH! She left a little earlier but that was because she was cold. How… did I; I don’t know… I’m going get REALLY lucky, or REALLY envious!

I found out what she is now, she’s a second year Freshman. Sophomore age. Well, at least she’s closer to my age… So, we had a good a talk, she even went as far to say that I’m “Cool” You see, last time, she said, “Guys are dicks!” her friend replied, “It’s because they’ve got one.” James and I looked at each other and I said, “I love being classified by my parts” James said, “Yeah, and women think MEN are sexist.” They laughed at us and then conversation went as normal as it could be when you put a punk and three demi-goths within four square feet of each other

Then today, she got going about guys being dorks again, and she said, “Not you two though, you guys are cool.” I looked at her and said, “I AM?!?!” She nodded and smiled. I said Sweet!!!! And conversation went on again as usual. So, I’d have to say although there is some concern, and there is some stress on my part, especially when she walks up and is talking about how hot some other guy is . But then again, girls will never talk about how good a guy looks to his face, so it’s not like she walks up to them and all that stuff.

Who knows what those crazy girls talk about when I leave… I just like having fun for now. I try to focus on the joy she brings me rather than the second thoughts and whirlwinds she causes within my tiny little brain. I know that next week, I am going to ask her if she’d like to do something, or maybe ask for her number or something. Then I could make the suggestion of getting her picture so it pops up when she calls. (Aren’t I a clever little dog?)

The catch is, it’s not in proper format on my phone, so I can’t post it… but I’ll see what happens

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