So continues the life of your not-so-normal High School student. Well, Tasha backed out on me but said she’d try for Saturday. Today is really boring, I’m glad it’s Friday. I’ve actually got a job interview with a place called Backyard Burger today. Wish me luck, I need money!

Something that’s really odd was I had a friend of mine suggested, “That I should go out with a girl” that I used to go out with. It was one of those, nothing personal type things, I just didn’t feel anything for her. I’m sure there is some who know how that goes. She’s a good friend, but nothing more.

I’m really picky about who I go out with, if you haven’t noticed…Am I being unreasonable or am I doing the Right thing? I have high expectations. It’s both a good and a bad thing. It motivates me to get out of this shit-eating lifestyle that I was born into, but do I miss good things because my standards are so high? What an interesting topic. It’s about time to go to lunch now, but I’ll update in culinary class if I have time. (I’m sure I will…) Be back soon… (I guess I really am just “Out to Lunch!” LOL) If not have a great weekend.

Hello, I’m back again. I would like to say thanks for the comment. Yeah, I’m just living my life out. I had a visitor say to keep them (my expectations) high. I appreciate the encouragement. He pretty much nailed it on the head. The bottom line is yeah; both sexes are infamous for hurting people. It’s called selfishness, and there is no room in Real love for that.

The funny thing is, my expectations aren’t really in the beauty department, its character that can leave me spinning. I’ve seen several girls that are beautiful but they would never believe it. I’ve got some stories. My God, How I’ve got some stories… I do know that the kind of girl that I’m looking for isn’t all that common. I’ve seen them though. Most are taken. Jenny was one of those girls. She was so nice, but I think she dropped out. (I’m going to call her and tell her second semester that she better get her butt back over here.)

She’s as sharp as flint. The first few days, well weeks of Culinary class, any normal guy would have just assumed she was a bitch and moved to a different table. I could see it in her though. She was one of those people that had been through a LOT. She not so quickly figured out that I really wasn’t a bad guy, but it took me FOREVER to earn her trust. Suddenly one day, she just began spilling out to me all of these horrid things. Things that made my life look like the Sugar Plumb Fairy’s castle.

Helping her meant the world to me. I never said one thing to her regarding her sudden venting on me, I just listened, which is exactly what she needed someone to do a LONG time ago. I’d like a girl like Jenny. She was beautiful, smart, quiet, wonderfully (And bitterly) intelligent, and strong. She had just this aura to her that was…the best way I can think of explaining it was that it felt like she was screaming a scream that nobody ever heard. We had empathy and we got along well after about four weeks of verbal abuse on my part.

She was taken though. I wouldn’t DARE wish she weren’t though. As Cool as a girlfriend she could’ve been, that silly guy of hers is all that she had. (In her mind) He was the last good thing in her life, and I would not jeopardize that of hers for ANYTHING. Well, I guess I say my farewells now, this time’s for real. This is Anthony Casimire Signing off.

So, now I will explain to you this sea of thought that goes through my head. You see, it may sound like I’m being a player, but things have just been fast-paced and I’ve been happy hat things look good with Tasha that I’ve neglected to talk about my feelings about several other issues. I’ve feel like I’ve “Scrambled to Prevent Panic” so to speak, only for once, it’s a good thing.

I want to preserve my honor as well as do as little as possible to confuse people reading this, granted they do so. Recently, I don’t know how or why things have come together. I haven’t changed anything as far as personality or socially. Things have sucked for so long. Suddenly, it’s going okay.

Like I wrote before, I’ve never been “Lucky” with women. I always laughed sincerely, “I couldn’t get a date from a calendar!” I would consider it stretching to my ego to label me “Remotely Attractive.” But recently, things have been shifting. First, there’s Wind. Wind, as you know is a girl that I REALLY like. She said she liked me, and things are peachy, right? Hell no! I begin to call Wind after our tender moment, only to be told a few days later that her dad doesn’t want me to be calling. I can’t say I blame him, really, because there is a considerable amount of time between the years of our birth. Contact is limited strictly to church.

Then, there is a Girl that Share’s Wind’s name. She likes me a lot, but as the case usually goes, I was too dumb to see it for a while. Although I wouldn’t say she is promiscuous, she does like a number of different guys in the same way, although she has a boyfriend, if I were him, I would consider how she treats me a little too flirtatious for just being “friends.”

Then there is Danielle She is just like the girl above. They’re both terribly nice and I love them to an agonizing death in a friendship sort of way, but they are the kind of girl that doesn’t know what it’s like to be single. They could have another, better looking guy in a few minutes. Danielle has guys all over her. Again I say, she’s not promiscuous, Danielle specifically. Guys slap her butt all the time, but she doesn’t “Give” them anything. She’s actually genuinely devoted to abstinence.

What I guess I’m saying is that I like Danielle and the Other girl, (I censor the name of Wind and the other girl only because I know for a fact that people I know look at this blog, I’m simply protecting the names of the innocent…) but I couldn’t trust them in a relationship sort of way. Can you love someone you don’t trust? Can you Trust someone you don’t Love? Trust is earned and so is love.

Tasha is the final person of this mess. She is a quiet girl, and since I only have one class with her, I really don’t KNOW her yet. I know a few things, but nothing big enough to trust her with a great deal of biddings. I guess that is what this movie, and the past three days have been about. She’s a quiet and shy girl. (One of the most beautiful traits a girl can have.) I like the mystery that she leaves me with. I think that’s one of the things that led me to chase that one girl for six years.

Some things are hard to let go, because you’re not SUPPOSED to forget… The six year girl was definitely one of those matters. I still get the privilege to see her every day except for Saturday. Surprisingly, I still occasionally feel that tugging, taunting, chasing feeling. I made that mistake and I even got to see another slam into the same brick wall that I did. (Read Laughing matter if you REALLY want to know) That’s the only way I can think of to give you an idea about how amazing this girl is. Six years, speed of sound, brick wall, BOOM! Here I am still regretting and still wanting to try again…Surprisingly, watching him do so was not as entertaining of as relieving as I thought it would be.

That is past though. It’s unhealthy to give up your real world for a dream one. Right now, Tasha is VERY tangible, Wind can be felt, but not taken, and I now have reason to believe that others have been hiding their true feelings from me. If they are, I do not want to know. Getting a girl is a chase, not a hunt. You don’t think, “This year I wanna mount me the head of a ten point buck!” You walk out, look, get to know, they lead you off, you chase.

Girls LOVE to be chased, I’ve seen it, and I’ve heard it from their own mouths. You just don’t want to turn a chase into hunt. I just can’t wait to see what this whole ordeal has to offer. The last time I had it this easily was last year about two months from this time. There was a really pretty girl named Samantha. I mean this girl was a piece of work. We went on our first date to the bowling alley and it went well until the end.

She decided to leave the alley early and we did. We walked down to her friend’s house and upon arriving the girl was bitterly crying and Samantha tried to calm her down. I look at my watch and tell Samantha that we can sit with the girl but I need to head back to the alley in a few minutes because If I was on a date and I wasn’t where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there, my parents would think nothing about calling the cops on us. (Bad deal especially being that she was fifteen and carrying cigarettes)

Well, I sit with the girl and we talk to her, try to calm her down and see what the hell is going on with her when suddenly a massive character comes walking up and she tells him that her boyfriend hit her, and left shortly after. He decides that he wants to go beat the hell out of him. Good idea actually, but in My town’s bad neighborhood, 11:30 at night, everyone’s under the age of 18 and carrying cigarettes except for me, this guy appears to be on as well as smell like weed, going to pick a fight doesn’t sound like such a great idea.

I tell Samantha that I have to get back to the alley, hoping that she’ll come with me. She gets on her cell phone, calls her mom, and tells her that she’s staying at a friend’s house than says, “Come one! I want to watch this!” I look at my clock. It’s Almost midnight. (When I was to be picked up) I have to walk back to the alley through a neighborhood that I don’t even know, that’s not a good one, with multiple groups of people finding reasons to beat the hell out of other groups. And I was carrying a LOT of cash because I like to have remotely classy dates.

Needless to say, this was a disappointer. I got to the alley five seconds before my mom pulls up. Some people would say I did the right thing that night; I live in regret for the longest time. I don’t know where I was going with this. Hopefully I’ve cleared some things up. Wind, Tasha, This Girl, That girl, Danielle it’s all good. Why do people pay to watch lives like mine??? Good day My Fellow Bloggers, Good Day This is Anthony Casimire signing off.

Things are going well. Today I was talking to the girl in my Piano class. Danielle is my friend; Tasha is the girl that I might be going to the movies with. Danielle is a girl that has a very flirtatious personality. I made the mistake of telling her that I was very ticklish. She likes to grab my side and hear me squeal. They think it’s funny, and it is.

Danielle and Tasha were both messing with me that class. Tasha never tickled me, but when I spoke to her, Danielle would tickle me and when I was on my guard against her, they were evidently having a mouthed conversation over my laughing spasms. I just hope that I’m not putting my head into a pretty little guillotine.

I doubt that’s the case, but regardless, when I deliberately try to get into a friendship with a girl, I should expect things to get odd. The guy that flirted with her too much, he gave up shortly before my recent flow of success. I’ve been in that place a lot. We’re not sure what movie we’ll see. Yes, we confirmed a Friday night date to the Movie! Now all we have to do is find something interesting.

She read what I have of a story that’s a comedy novel. She really liked it. Showing it to her was a gamble…It’s funny, but it’s probably the most morbidly hilarious thing I’ve written and she liked it. Either I have finally found a girl as strange as I, or she’s REALLY desperate. I think (Hope) that it’s the first choice. I wonder why I have my post on life rather than love…because most of my writing is actually about love.

Love to me, as you may know is a high priority. I don’t really get love from my family, so I guess it’s easily became a focus. I want love in all manners. Plus, Love is like the light in Pandora’s Box. I know according to mythology it was Hope that was the light, but I tend to believe Love and Hope are the lights that give humanity the strength to carry life’s burdens.

Regardless, I hope people are enjoying my blog. It’s really weird to feel the way I do. Normally I’m used to perpetually searching, but as I wrote it in my black book, “What was once a simple mission to find love has become psychological politics.” Needless to say, I always have the inner conflict, but that will be a HUGE essay. Things regarding Wind and several other people are racking my mind like no tomorrow, but I’m doing my best to let the glue holding my mind together dry before I plunge it back into the ocean of thought…

Recently, in the midst of the ominous chaos of my life, I have seemed to come upon a lucky strike. I didn’t go with the girl to Cheap Seats, I didn’t even go myself. I couldn’t find the girl after school, and I actually took an afternoon nap that lasted until about eight. By that time, the movies don’t start getting out until midnight and my parents won’t pick me up that late.

Well, today I spent the whole time talking to the girl in my Piano class. She doesn’t say much about herself, but she said she likes my stories and thinks that they are funny. Like me, she seems to have a slightly warped since of humor. I try not to be funny on my blog because people often make the mistake of taking me seriously when I am comically morbid. I feel free to be myself around her because she actually likes me, at least in a friendship sort of way.

She; also has made several comments that would be considered to be on the negative scale of “Eccentric.” What’s really cool is today I officially know that she doesn’t mind my company. At first I thought she might have just been talking to me because of nothing better to do, or just “tolerating” me so to speak. Today, she asked me if I was dropping the class second semester.

I’ve spoken of it several times because I couldn’t play chords to save my life. I told her yeah, and she didn’t seem to be too happy with it. I told her that I could give her my phone number so we could talk sometime and hang out instead of just leaving forever. She said she’d like to and I gave her my number!!! WOW! I threw a stinking bear at a girl asking no more, and she never got back with me!

Right now I’m just happy. I’ve found a new friend that seems to like to like me. I get to see wind tonight. I hope she’s doing better, but right now, I’m just going to go with this one girl for now. If things click, they do, if they don’t they don’t, they don’t. I have nothing to loose. I think I’ll see if we can go to the movies this weekend. She said she was going. What I think is really funny is the fact that that she wants to get together and play Halo or Dungeons and Dragons or something like it.

I’m just glad to see something bright on the horizon. Is this “normal break” the eye of the storm? Is there more Failure on the other side? Or am I getting out of the storm? Regardless, it’s a good break and something to look forward to. Until later, This is Anthony Casimire signing off.

Hello my Fellow bloggers. Sorry about becoming unglued there for a brief time. I woke up today and feel much better. I’ve had a good nights rest and a good chat with the girl in Piano Class. It’s kind of spontaneous, but the girl that likes Halo and South Park, I’m going to see if she’d like to go to the cheep seats with me tonight.

The Cheap seats are amazing. They’re a movie theater in town where you can seriously watch a movie for 50 cents. The drinks are another story. It’s like three bucks for a shot glass filled with your choice of pop. Anyway, weather she’ll go with me or not, I am going to go. I’m going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory if she has no preference. I’ve heard it sucks, I’ve heard it rocks; I’ll just say I’ve heard its okay.

My friend once said, “I love the cheap seats…Their dirty, cheap, messy, it smells like popcorn…It’s all I look for in a woman!” The funny thing is later on, he asked me if he could have a drink of my soda I smuggled in and I said, “No Way.” He said, “But why?” I told him “I’d trust you and your dirty, cheap popcorn girlfriends!” It was so funny!

The theater actually isn’t THAT bad. It is a little skanky, but where else in the nation could you see a movie for fifty cents?! Everyone goes there, so it’s not like I’m asking a recent acquaintance into the bad side of town.

I don’t know why I broke so hard before…This is nothing that I’ve not already dealt with in the past. Besides, I can’t be with her now, so why bother? Well, I’m doing fine now. Isn’t it weird how perspective can change so quickly? I always have a back door so to speak. I just wish I hadn’t thought of that until this morning.

I hope it goes well. I don’t know this girl a whole lot, but who could resist a girl that likes Halo and South Park? She’s not like the Halo fanatic that like, wears the shirts and only talks about Halo 24-7, granted, we talk about it quite a bit, but I think the main reason is because it’s a “Safe Subject” so to speak.

I have a funny story about that actually. My dad’s this real, “Self Righteous” fellow that walked in on a particularly grizzly battle involving me with nothing but a Shotgun and a Magnum versus countless of bugs, snipers, and two biological traveling missile batteries called hunters. I so kicked their ass… My dad always has such nice timing.

Wish me luck on this trip to the movies. Tonight will be nice either way. It is movie night and jazz night. Gotta love both… Well, I’m not intending on turning this into a rant so I’ll just leave it at wish me luck and cross your fingers.

~Anthony Casimire Signing off.