Isn’t it strange when you consider that it’s been a full week since I’ve done my stunt to get this girl’s attention and I am not an inch closer than when I started? Yes, my friends, I have been shy away again. Today, however has been a massive kidney shot to me. Wrestling was okay, but I’d say chances are I looked like a fool, but that will be addressed later.

Today has sucked, and it’s going to suck. My culinary arts class is having this two-and-a-half hour seminar on Skills USA; talk about Snore Fest. I’m thinking, "Just give me a dribble cup or cyanide pill or something!" Than, there’s wrestling practice after school. I spent all day yesterday on my feet doing catering, than I went to practice. My legs feel like noodles…

Anyway, I’m going to call her up after practice, shower hard-core, and then ask her if she’d like to go to Starbucks or something. That sounds nice and innocent and it gives me a chance to talk to her one on one, meaningful conversation, not walking up to her and her friends and interrupting a REAL conversation with my awkward approach and foolish stuttering. Something tonight has to go right, and if this one thing does, I’ll be singing a totally different song by Monday morning.

If she refuses to humor me over this long weekend, than I will be singing a different song as well. Class is almost over, so I must go. Until next Time, this is Anthony Casimire, signing off.

Well, I know I told you that I’d talk to this girl, but today I couldn’t either. Honestly not my fault. I held my resolve like a real man, until I looked at the school’s clock and saw that despite, my very plainly put message to my dad that I wanted to be at school early, the dumb ass pulls me in ten minutes before school starts. Well, I’m glad that there is always another day.

Like I’ve said before, I have been much bolder with this girl than I have been with girls in the past. It’s like my Lady Luck is actually a Big Ugly Man that likes to do unspeakable things to innocent people attempting to live a normal life. That’s okay though, I like a challenge. I’m not here to whine or get sympathy; I just like to expose my situation.

I’m going to be honest. When I first started going after this girl, it was more like I was reflecting on my past life. When she knew I wanted to dance when I was a sophomore, she told me, “She knew someone that would like to go with me.” When I finally gave up my six year chase, I went through a brief period where emotionally, I could feel nothing.

Then I was lying in bed one night, debating if I should be thankful for my no-emotion, or if I should be concerned. Than that’s when it hit me. Within my mind, I heard her voice and her words echo. I’ve been following that echo every since. For lack of better ways of explaining, I was thinking of it more as a detour, like an answer on a test that you skipped over, and now that you’ve narrowed the answer, you’re filling it in and calling it good.

Now, I feel myself really being drawn to her, it’s good to have emotion back within me. This is kind of funny considering that I haven’t spoken too much to her. I do know that after this situation reaches a resolve, it will be my final High School crush, and I’ll be starting off my Adult hood with a clean slate dating record. That is an encouraging thought.

Today is really strange. Nothing has worked out as planned, but I’m not feeling stressed or homicidal either. Wrestling practice is today, I await it with an insane level of curiosity and anticipation. I’ll be able to learn a lot from wrestling.

I can’t wait to learn these things. Being a neutral person that I am, I have always studied the classes. I study the cliques. I have discovered how to be a chameleon of some sort. I don’t use this because I want to be a part of a group, but it’s hard to describe. Remember the article I wrote about Music? If you don’t remember, revert to it.

There is a line where I said, “People should be more like music.” Sure, it’s a cool thought, but what if someone tried to assume that role of being someone’s “Hero?” What if one person really did try to make the world a better place? It’s complicated, but I like to help people. Often it’s so simple to do. Just listing to them, and giving them my story as well…It does wonders for them I would know because my best friend was and is my hero.

My life is so intertwined with so many situations that I can find ways to help just about anyone, and I have, and there is no greater, rewarding feeling than helping. I want to help everyone like my friend helped me. I want to help Goths, nerds, preps, jocks, the rich, the poor, I want to be there for EVERYONE. I want to be someone’s Hero.

I would like to devote a blog to all the people who have read this. As you know, recently, they updated their methods of counting how many people have been on. I update and do a lot of cut and paste from Microsoft word to help keep my blogs organized and grammatically correct, since I am somewhat of a perfectionist.

This led to show that I had around 260 visits, but now that they've changed the system, I have about 96ish visitors, still quite an accomplishment. I was surprised that so many people read mine. I would like to take the time to thank all of you for reading this, even if you didn't bother to read the whole thing. (For that, I'd blame nobody.)

I'd also like to ask people who read this or keep up if they'd leave comments. I don't care if you think I'm an idiot, I think I'm an idiot. Regardless, I'd like some interaction to be set up with my readers and I. I love to read people's blogs myself. These people, these bloggers are real. Not like those idiots in public chat rooms that like to bad mouth you than threaten to kick your ass. (I'm still to this day trying to figure that one out…)

I have a lot of free time. I love to read and I love to write. I'd accept any counsel or encouragement with open arms, and in return, I'd probably stop by your blog and read it as well. I'd be just as willing to help or hear out other people myself. I'm not looking for a date, hell, that's why I'm throwing a girl Teddy bears. I'm not out to live two lives; one is plenty enough. I'm just interested in this world that I stumbled into. It's like living in a New York City where everyone is willing to talk to you. In return, you're willing to talk to everyone.

Like you know, I don't have internet at home, but sometime, I will Try to get pictures on My Profile. Good day to you all,

Anthony Casimire Signing off.

Something that was kind of funny, when I was walking through the halls this morning, in search of my “little red-haired girl,” so to speak, I suddenly remembered, that I was considering joining the wrestling team this year. Well, crap, I’m a week and a half behind, and I need to get a physical. Practice is tomorrow, good luck, myself.

I’m actually feeling pretty confident about it. A good time back, a wrestling coach pulled me aside in the hall and said that I looked pretty strong for a light weight. He told me I should try. I’m bored, so hell, why not? At least now I could actually remember a thing that’s interesting about me besides the fact that I write.

I’m not willing to change myself for this girl, but we’ll have a lot more empathy if I actually get involved in school sports. Who knows, maybe chicks dig guys in spandex? (Okay, that was nasty I apologize.) Anyway, we’ll be somewhere closer on the school spectrum, and as insane and complicated as life can be, and as much anger and hate fill my life, being stuck in a ring with a guy my size and not only being aloud to, but ENCOURAGED to land this guy on his back; I think I’ve got some stowed up steam that could maximize my performance quiet effectively.

You don’t have to WIN to vent, sometimes just seeing your opponent lick their wounds that you inflict is enough. The thing is; I don’t like Spandex. That’s okay though, this is a new experience for me. Also, I’ll get to hang out with the classification of rowdy morons that some people label “jocks.” I eagerly await this learning experience

This also brings a guy into my life that I didn’t like back in middle school. This was one of those people that the only reason you didn’t want to slap his mother for giving birth is because she was the only woman he’d ever get in life. I know, that was rude; again I apologize. I’m not going to let old things between us though. That was five years ago, I’m sure he’s matured some. I know I have.

It’s not like I want to be friends with this guy, but after spending half a school year being called his one, only, and favorite insult, (Children, close your ears,) “A cum-sucking cunt face.” It’s hard to walk into a room with open arms and eyes. I’m not anticipating trouble though. Like I’ve said, that was then, this is now. If he wants to get nasty again, I’ll tell him that we’ll take it to the mat, and may the one who could talk, do the bragging.

I’m not going to waste much time on this morning’s article. Today is the day when I go see if anything that ever happened really did. It almost feels like dream, you know? She hasn’t called or came to me, so I’m going to her. Wish me luck God bless, and have a good day. :) :)